Be extra careful of friends you make, places you visit and what you eat.
Every rape victim responds differently to the crime. Some become very depressed while some become very bitter and helpless as a result of the torture.
If you are raped, first seek medical attention, control how you feel,pray to God for strength to overcome the trauma, speak to someone you trust about how you feel or look for a counselor who specializes in rape cases. Do some personal training on depression and how to overcome fears your way.
I recall meeting two friends Jumai and Joke at the murtala muhammed international airport lagos.
Somehow we got acquainted, we talked and even exchanged phone numbers.
What actually got me attracted was the proximity between them, the "so into each other" kind of thing and oh did i forget to mention they were kind enough to kip my seat while i went to use the lavatory. but thats not the gist here.
Somehow we met again and again, paid each other visits one thing led to another and we shared experiences and gbam this happened - Most times we wonder why many rape victims find it difficult to speak up and expose their defilers.well the reason is not far fetched.
Some of these victims are concerned about how the society would perceive them should they speak up. It has only been recently that few victims have been willing to talk about their experiences. Some of these victims are not strong enough to handle or bear the trauma while some despite the torture and shock, still find it some how easy to shelve and move on. Joke And Jumai belong to the class of ladies who believe 'despite all odds' life must go on.
" in our case i 17 and jumai 15 when we were raped by a mutual friend's father. as usual, we had gone to visit Joan from school. she was a day student and we in boarding. She lived with her father (single parent) father and instead of telling us that Joan had gone to spend the weekend with her mum who doesn't live with them in Ibadan at the time, he lied that he had sent her to get him something. and she'ld return shortly. To cut the story short the lunatic father druged and raped us... He threatened to make life unbearable for us should we tell anyone. "the school and our parents will throw you out", he said, the worl will laugh at us. they'd ask what we were doing there since we were supposed to be at school, we would go to jail so many threats and we believed him. Joke said.
and when asked how they knew they had been raped Jumai responded bit harshly
"would you not know if you were raped? I knew we, both knew. a lot of signs darling. I shouldn't be talking bout this cos its a past i buried and i have moved on. I have a loving husband and two kids…, Before that day i never tasted alcohol, but there i was from a living room to his bedroom. i felt tipsy, we had only drank juice with some wall nuts. I was completely disoriented the worse part of it we spent the whole day there as we were not just in place. that man was a beast, he almost ruined everything. our virginity, Joke and i were still virgins before the rape. No one knew the physical and psychological pains we carried over years. we dint want the school authority to know we violated the rules. we escaped hostel knowledge of the authorities,we couldn't talk to our parents either. we knew people would blame us so we decided to bear the bear the pains and save "face". she said
"15 years now, i can boldly tell my story without fear of Dr David. At first i could see my whole world crumbling right in front of me and i was just so helpless. i couldn't bear the fact that i had just lost my virginity in the most cruel way. Then being raped by the one man the worse being that he was my Joan's father. The burden was to heavy but then i started to pick up courage. Jumai and i became even closer we cried to ourselves, blamed each other for that day, then later we devised a better strategy. we started rebuilding our trust and feelings and we began to socialize even more, we laughed at everything and even made joke of ourselves things began to feel more better. still we couldn't share the experience with Joan. when she returned we started to distant our selves from her and her family then finally we did. it was hard because people referred to us then as 3Js as we were everything unique starting with our names.we were intelligent and inseparable until the devil struck. things went really sour. I still wonder how and why he did all he did. he used to be so very nice to us. I'm happy i survived, i'm stronger and wiser things don't get at me easily Joke said.
Another assaulted victim;
7years ago It was my first visit to lagos and robbers attacked us. The bus driver was killed and I was raped at gun point by one of of them. My life half-ended that day, i hated myself,i felt deep hatred for men worse of all months later i found out i was pregnant, i tried to take my life completely but twice i failed. some how i managed to tell my aunt who was then a redeem church member, an ardent believer in christ. she took me for medical examinations and thank God i was medically ok save for the pregnancy. I found christ, he became my best friend. he shouldered my burden and gave my life a new meaning. I started taking part in activities in the church, i attended all church services and was always prompt. one day i picked my bible to go to church and i felt a sharp pain in my stomach and that was it. I lost the pregnancy. the feel of shame,fear and depression is over Thank
God for coming when he did.
Yetunde.
Remember to report the case or talk to someone, do not bear the burden alone.stay safe
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